You can't be happy all the time.

December brings great heartache to me always. It all started in 2003 when my Grandpma passed away and then tragically increased in 2007 when a dear friend was suddenly killed in a car accident. I always try to put on a cheerful face during this sorrowful month, but some days it's unsuccessful, like today. Today is December 8th, my grandma, one of the most amazing women I have ever had a chance of knowing, was born on this day, she would've been 79.

I'm supposed to be studying for finals today, but all I could find myself thinking about was how much I hate the month of December, and how much I miss the loved ones I will never get to see again.

So December 8th, it's the first bump of the road of December, the next ones being December 21st, and December 30th. I wish it could just get easier.

I can't help but think, I've had too many things fail on me within the last couple of months, and it's sucked, it's sucked big time, but in the end, I realize the only thing that's important is not failing is myself.

It's going to be some what cliche, but I'm going to post a poem I found that my dear friend wrote, which hopefully, if not just bring me some inspiration and comfort, but others as well.

Sometimes life will beat you down
Break your heart, or melt your crown
Things fill our heads with thoughts of death
But fear not your final breath
Through adventure unfolds and you will live
Be yourself, realize yourself is all to give
Through hate or love your emotions shown true
Don't be afraid of anyone, just be you
Even though hard times make you run or stay
Think where you'd be if you ran away